“There are no gentle ways to fight alcohol addiction”: The mom and wine pairing

We recently published an article by Natasha Marais in which we spoke about how normal it’s become for parents to kick back and enjoy a glass (or more) of wine after a long day. She wrote that while it’s acceptable to do so, scheduling it into your daily routine can be very destructive, so you might want to rethink your relationship with alcohol. She listed ways in which you could do so, including a suggested gentle workshop, but one of our readers wrote in and pointed out that it’s not that simple, especially if you’re struggling with alcohol addiction.

Anonymous writes:

"Well firstly, if you're drinking a bottle of wine a day, then you have a drinking problem. It's not necessary to pour it on your cornflakes. A bottle of wine on your own will impair your faculties and that's all there is to it.

Let's get some perspective here. Both of my parents were functional alcoholics; in other words they probably looked normal to outsiders – my father had a good job and my mother looked after the home. By my own admission I became one as well. My childhood was an unpleasant experience and ended in the divorce of my parents and financial ruin for the family.

The damage they did to me with their constant drinking was huge and it is only now that I can look back and understand and calculate the impact it had.

I abused alcohol for 32 years before I finally conceded defeat and got sober. I have not taken a drink for 9 years. So I have experience in this field. I also draw from the experiences of many other individuals that I have met through a 12-step program, and I can say that alcohol is a determined killer, "cunning, baffling, powerful", and that the signs of this PROGRESSIVE disease are not to be trifled with.

There is a line in the main text of the recovery program of Alcoholics Anonymous that reads, "We tried to find an easier, softer way, but we could not.” 

So to say that a 12-step program is not necessary for recovery from alcohol addiction and that a "gentler" way is available in the form of a new workshop that has become available, is at best irresponsible and stems from a lack of understanding of the disease (ICD code F10:20).

It discounts the fact that 12-step programs have been by far the most successful means of combating alcohol addiction since 1935. It presents an untried and untested "gentler" alternative.

There are no gentle ways to fight alcohol addiction. The only way is complete abstinence and a personality change.

12-step programs offer the community of others who have the same problem, and also offer a process which, if followed, will lead to the desired change in personality. This is an unassailable fact and has been proven by the millions of people worldwide and the tens of thousands in South Africa who have been saved from this dreadful state of mind and body, and now live normal and productive lives without the need for artificial stimulation of any kind.

While I respect that others are entitled to have an opinion, I would implore any seeker to investigate the available avenues thoroughly before embarking on a course of action to deal with an alcohol problem. 

Time is not on your side if you are a problem drinker. It is progressive which means that it gets worse, not better. Your life and those of your family and children are on the line. Alcohol in the wrong hands is a voracious killer. Don't mess with it."

– Anonymous

Do you agree that we've sort of normalised drinking and married it with parenting? Did you also have an alcohol addiction problem? Share your thoughts and stories with us by emailing chatback@parent24.com and we may publish it on the site.

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