Dear teen me, let’s talk about that boy who broke your heart, sweetie
I know sometimes things may not always make sense to you right now. But hey, what did daddy always tell you? Straighten up little soldier, stiffen up that upper lip. What you crying about? You got me!
Okay, did I just quote the always wise poet and musical genius, Eminem? Yes.
Did I not know how to open just about the most difficult letter I will ever write you from the future? Yes, hello from the other side, sweetie.
Will you be curled up alone in your bedroom, with puffy eyes and a broken heart for the rest of your life? No.
Because sweetie, this too shall pass.
That being said, I remember exactly how you’re feeling right now.
Your stomach is turning at the thought of losing what feels like the best thing that will ever happen to you. You feel as though you’ll never reach that same level of happiness again. And while everyone is telling you that there’ll be other greater, lasting loves, he was everything. I mean, you pinned dresses on Pinterest and decided on a red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting – it was serious!
And despite what everyone’s saying, you’re entitled to feel this way for however long you need. No one can actually tell you for how long you can feel sad because there is no such thing as the feelings police. Just like there is no ice-cream police, so just keep spooning your new love out of his container, sweetie.
- Also read: "Nobody loves me" - teens and heartbreak
Having said that though, let me tell you what will work for you. Recovery will go a little something like this:
Step 1: Mourning with friends and fam, fam
Is it still cool to say fam? No? Okay.
You know what, or rather who is cool though? Your friends.
While you think they’re carefully thinking through every response to the screenshots, crying face emojis and frantic texts, they’re actually sitting at their desktop furiously striking away at their keyboard like this:
Because they probably love and care for you more than any boy who dared to break your heart ever will, which is comforting in itself.
They’ll come over to watch movies when your heart is breaking and try and piece it back together with Nutella and ice-cream. And while that won’t be the perfect binding agent, it certainly will make things just a little better.
Mom’s great in these situations too. And although you might not feel like you can talk to her about everything, she can be pretty understanding. Her heart’s been broken too, you know, just like Taylor Swift.
- Also read: A letter to the children I’ll never have
Step 2: Taylor Swift for the soul
Wedding dresses and John Legend songs will no longer work for you. Soon enough you’ll start a new board on Pinterest and your search will mostly include depressing and dramatic Grey’s Anatomy quotes about survival.
You’ll also find relatable songs, most of which will come from Adele and a young Taylor Swift telling you that “in your life you’ll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team”.
And you will.
So your attitude will slowly change from the more discouraging, doom and gloom quote, to the strengthening, empowering and rehabilitating kind; the kind that will get you back on track.
I found that we particularly related to Taylor Swift’s 15 and We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together, Fergie’s Big Girls Don’t Cry and Beyoncé’s entire Lemonade album.
Adele’s Someone Like You is great too, if you’re sitting in the car staring out of the window pretending you’re in a really sad music video on your way to school. But eventually the music video will end and you’ll start refocussing your energy.
Step 3: Refocusing your energy
“You give life to what you give energy to,” said a wise person on the Internet (pinned*). Which is exactly why, after you’ve dealt with the reality of losing your “one true love” who will completely ruin Despacito and other really catchy and romantic songs for you, you’ll refocus your energy on what really matters.
Right now you need to focus on exams.
You know what sucks more than having a broken heart? Failing exams and having a broken heart.
Tough love, I know, and yes I realise I sound just like mom. But Taylor Swift was right – you will realise you have bigger dreams than marrying that boy, most of which you have yet to discover and will actually require you to have a solid education.
So it’s time to give life to what really matters – you.
The relationship you have with yourself will after all be your longest and greatest ever so you might as well start taking care of yourself. What you crying about? You got me – you got you. And you’re a pretty great person to have.
And while you may not feel all that good right now and imagine you’ll only ever be Adele singing Hello in a tragic sepia-toned music video with leaves flying at your face, I’m here to reassure you that this won’t last forever.
You’re going to meet someone someday who will not break your heart. He’ll buy you ice-cream and waffles on Sundays and send you morning texts on Mondays.
He'll be better than cream cheese frosting.
Everything gets better for us. Things get really really good actually after you’re done crying your eyes out, finished with exams and matriculate to go onto bigger things.
Take it from me, things are better over here and the grass is certainly greener.
So hello from the other side, sweetie.
A heartbreak-surviving, head over heels in love, future you
- We need to take teenage heartbreak more seriously
- Dear tween me, let’s talk about your period, sweetie
- Living the single life
What are some of the things you wish someone had told you after your first break up? Tell us by commenting below.
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