Kids' savagery at its finest

Kids say hilarious things. They also say some seriously inappropriate things, but even so, they still warrant a good, hearty laugh.

Teaching our kids to think before they speak is one of the important jobs we have as parents, and often it is challenging to keep a straight face when delivering this important lesson.

Sometimes, we can't keep it to ourselves. We have to spread the word and connect with other parents - whether friends or complete strangers - about our kids and the amazing things their little minds conjure up.

When they catch you off-guard:

4-year-old: I want to stay home all the time.

Me: Everyone has to leave their house sometimes.

4: Turtles don't.

Touché.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) September 13, 2016

My 5yo: "So Dad what was the best day of your life ever?"
"When I got married to mummy"
"So not when you had your children?"#UhOh

— Tim Kelly (@TimKofCanberra) September 20, 2016

Me: Why do you always watch “Frozen?” Elsa always wins.

6-year-old: You watch football. Your team always loses.

Touché.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) September 18, 2016

5yo - I love you to the moon and back and I love your face with make-up.#parenting #momlife #honestkid

— Lennon's Mommy (@SandiVanIngen) September 19, 2016

When they have random epiphanies:

7yo: You know I like old school music, Mom. Jazz, Dubstep, Snoop Dogg, that kinda stuff
Me out loud: Go on, my son!
Me inside: I'm... old :(

— C. B. Catalano (@C_B_Catalano) September 19, 2016

When my 7yo cousin died, her 5yo sister told me she was excited to get her toys. Kids go into survival mode. They fill in mental blanks.

— Amber Hunt (@ReporterAmber) September 20, 2016

When they share their great wisdom:

my 7yo niece showed her 5yo brother her math book and said "this is math. when you're my age, you'll hate it too"

— Mickey (@mickey_manic) September 20, 2016

5yo: What keeps the world up?
Me: What?
5yo: How come the earth and all the other planets don't fall out of the sky? That's CRAZY!#itsmagic

— Carrie Gour (@carrie_gour) September 19, 2016

When they're smart-mouthed:

dad: "come on, you guys are LATE!!!!"
11yo: "you should have started YELLING at us earlier!"

— dadmissions (@Dadmissions) June 30, 2016

Me: "Hi friend, can I sit by you?"

5yo boy: *looks me up & down* "No."

— Mariah Otto (@ri_otto1122) September 19, 2016

Me: Why is there water on my floor?
5yo: -in tub- Mommy, I had to make a current, to be pushed by the waves.
Me: Really?
5yo: Then I farted.

— Erica BeHa (@MommaBHaq) September 19, 2016

When they verbalise what every woman feels:

7yr old "Do women get their periods on weekends too?"
Me "Yes"
7yr old mutters to herself "Jesus Christ"

— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) November 20, 2015

When they push your buttons:

12:02
5yo:When's lunch?
12:05
5yo:I'm starving.
12:10
5yo:I'm really hungry!!
12:15
5yo:*eats 3 bites* I'm full.#momlife #lunchtime

— Abbey NorrisGriffith (@abbgriff) September 19, 2016

my 5yo brother: yuck! weddings!!! weddings are for girls!

— leah (@KUMlREI) September 19, 2016

When they show their naïvety:

7yo just asked me what a fax is

— Emma Hughes (@emmahughes6) September 20, 2016

13: "When I'm bad, I always get caught!"
15: "So be sneakier about it!" #S**tMyKidsSay

— Tara Chaput (@FoodieAndFamily) September 14, 2016

When you want the earth to swallow you:

Took 3yo to Target. Passed by an employee bending over in the frozen food section. She yells, "Look mama, a buttcwack!" #momlife pic.twitter.com/IeqiYBbJxt

— Jaime (@noahsmom7) September 20, 2016

And of course, when they know just what to say:

My sweet 5yo daughter: Daddy, even when I'm old I'll still be your little girl! #blessed

— Ashley La Mar (@AshleyLaMar73) September 19, 2016

My 5yo: Mommy 1 of my classmate said to me "can u be my girlfriend?"
Me: what did u say?
5yr old: I'm not really in the mood for that
Me:????

— Jhe Campbell (@thisisjhe) September 20, 2016

4-year-old: How many Saturdays are there this week?

Me: Just one.

4: That's not enough.

Amen.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) September 14, 2016

Honestly, the sweetest thing my 3yo has ever said to me is "mama, let's go take a nap" ????

— Shelbi Vallery (@Shelban) September 20, 2016

Sometimes kids really say some atrocious things. Have your kids said something witty, clever or downright despicable things? Share them with us by emailing chatback@parent24.com.